Ask Wendy Aug 16

I write to you this as I feel very lonely in my life. I have always been cheated or hurt in matters of love but still my heart craves for love. I mostly feel cursed in my life as my love life is always a mess. I decided never to love again but destiny and coincidences got me in touch with a man that I fell genuinely in love with. I feel a strong urge to be with him and the feeling that I just can’t lose him. I felt things would work great as we got closer but he suddenly backed off cause of religious differences that I don’t believe in. I really love him but he has been avoiding me for 3 months now. I see a future that he doesn’t. Why do I always lose the people I love? I hopelessly wait for him as i find it worthless to even think about anyone else. Will he ever return? Are we meant to be?

Hi thank you for your letter, you know when something has happened in the past to hurt you it can be difficult to get over therefore we set a precedence so for example I want love but every time I find love they leave me – I get hurt, then another relationship comes along the same thing happens, this I feel is a form of self-sabotage, when you expect things to happen they will happen when you expect the worst you bring the worst to you. So how to you get rid of these limiting beliefs and start to change the dynamics of your energy. Firstly you need to start believing in yourself, you need to love yourself, forgive yourself for your past actions and stop being so hard on yourself, when you begin to like yourself or in fact love yourself the energy shifts and then it allow you to move forward rather than being stuck in the vicious negative cycle that you seem to be in where you feel desperate for love you find love, you cling to the love only to be disappointed, because the negative thoughts of I’m not good enough, , I don’t deserve love, its going to fall apart, he will leave me, so ill wrap him in kindness and do what I can to please, it’s kind of like crushing what you have – self –sabotaging.
You need to empower yourself by finding the tools to allow you to find that self –belief and confidence in yourself this in turn will change the way you think and feel about relationships and change the dynamics to allow a healthy relationship to come in, rather than a relationship you feel dependent upon, or where you have put them on a pedestal and just want to please, remember you cannot change others if something has to change you need to look inside, take some quiet time and reflect , ask yourself why you do this? the first thing that pops into your mind is the answer don’t think too hard about it or force answers, the feeling associated might feel uncomfortable but let it pass, keep asking yourself questions about the whys and how’s allow the emotions to come to the surface and let them simply pass through, love and respect yourself.
It’s like you have taught your subconscious a false belief, e.g every time I fall for someone they will leave me, each time it happens it strengthens that false or limiting belief now you have to change that belief to change the desired outcome as it does not serve for your highest good. There is so much information out there on changing limiting beliefs and overcoming self-sabotage. Empower yourself by finding the tools you need to make this positive change, then trust me will have the relationship you desire.

Love and best wishes Wendy